I have three reviews for you today; a gripe about captioning devices at the movies; and a fun phrase you’re going to want to add to your vocabulary.

First up: You may have heard of this obscure little film called “Spider-Man: Brand New Day”? Yeah, you probably have. It is the highest-grossing film of the year, the highest opening weekend gross for the United States and Canada, and the second highest worldwide (highest was “Avengers: Endgame”).

It was bumped from IMAX by “The Odyssey,” but on opening day, our theater was packed with Spidey fans, as evidenced by the sea of Spider-Man t-shirts in the lobby. I wore mine too. There is something exciting about going to a Marvel movie on opening day (or weekend), the shared energy which makes it more than just “going to the movies” and more of an experience, like going to see your favorite band live.

Tom Holland’s Peter Parker/Spidey has grown on me since he first appeared in the Marvel Cinematic Universe in 2016 (in “Captain America: Civil War”), maybe because he’s grown from an earnest, innocent teen to an adult who has been somewhat beaten down by life. He is more relatable now.

We last saw him in “Spider-Man: No Way Home” (2021), which ended with Peter asking Doctor Strange to cast a spell erasing him from everyone’s memory.

Everyone forgets who he is, including his girlfriend MJ and his best friend Ned. It’s a clever way to clean the slate for “Brand New Day,” which opens with Spider-Man anonymously protecting New York City.

Jacob Batalon and Zendaya reprise their roles as Ned and MJ, Mark Ruffalo is back as Bruce Banner/Hulk, Florence Pugh as Yelena, and Jon Bernthal as Frank Castle/Punisher.

I will not give away the plot in case you’re one of the few MCU fans who have not had a chance to see it yet.

I loved the movie. I laughed, I cried. I love Ned and MJ. Yelena and Bruce are two of my favorite Marvel characters, and I also am a fan of “The Bear,” so it was also nice to see Mikey (Bernthal) and Tina (Liza Colon-Zayas, who plays Detective Jean DeWolff in this movie).

I think they did a good job with the plot reset, and even though the film is long (nearly two and a half hours), it is fast-paced and action-packed, so you probably won’t mind unless you got a large soda with your popcorn, or if, say, on your second viewing, your closed-captioning device isn’t working properly and after leaving the theater three times to ask an employee to fix it, it still doesn’t work.

Note to Cinemark: Please get the captioning devices sorted for your deaf and hard-of-hearing customers, I’m begging you.

If you don’t know what these things look like, I’m attaching a photo. It has a rectangular head and a flexible neck. The base fits into the seat’s cupholder. It is not a camera; I am not recording the movie. Yes, people ask me this.

It is inconveniencing to look back and forth between the screen and the captions, which are close enough to my face that I have to wear reading glasses, which make the screen blurry.

Having said that, I can barely understand the dialogue without it, so it really is cool. It would be even cooler if they worked every time. I also wish they had a few showings with captions on the screen, like we have on our TVs. That brings us to my TV reviews:

‘Stuart Fails to Save the Universe’

“The Big Bang Theory” has always been about nerds who like sci-fi, and the fourth series in the franchise goes all in on the genre.

Dorky but lovable comic shop owner Stuart Bloom (Kevin Sussman) finds himself responsible for preventing a multiversal Armageddon after accidentally damaging a device built by Sheldon, Leonard, and Howard.

He gets some help (and sometimes harm) from Kripke, Bert, and Denise (John Ross Bowie, Brian Posehn, and Lauren Lapkus).

It’s a fun but silly show that places the characters in a different universe in each episode, and there are cameos from other BBT alums, including Raj, Penny, Bernadette, and Wil Wheaton.

At this point, it feels a little like the creators are cashing in on the familiarity of these characters. They know we love them. That’s why this is the third spinoff. But to make this series as good as BBT, they need to step it up. I don’t think the novelty of the show’s premise is enough to sustain it. It’s still early though, so maybe it will get better with time.

“Stuart Fails to Save the Universe” is on HBO Max.

‘Star Trek: Strange New Worlds’

We are now on Season Four of this Star Trek series. The premiere aired on Paramount+ on July 23, and the rest of the episodes are being released weekly. We are only a few episodes into the season, so maybe it’s not fair of me to say I’m not loving it as much as I have loved previous seasons. My main beef is with the second episode, “The Griffin Incident.”

Let me preface this complaint by saying this iteration of Star Trek has fun episodes that diverge from the usual fare. There was an animated episode, an episode in which the actors were replaced by puppets, a musical episode, etc. “The Griffin Incident” was horror. If you’re a regular reader of my blog, you know I am not a big fan of horror, and I was completely unprepared and not in the right mood for this creepy, gory, supernatural episode. If you’re sensitive to horror also, skip that episode!

In the third episode, the burned-out crew gets some much-needed downtime on a resort planet where the atmosphere intoxicates everyone in a different way. Ortegas and Scotty wake up with no memory of what has transpired and must put the pieces together with the help (or lack thereof) of their inebriated crewmates. It’s sort of silly, like most shore-leave episodes, but it’s fun to see another side of these characters.

I also assume the actors enjoy doing these types of episodes, as well as the parallel or mirror universe episodes, so they can flex their acting skills. And more importantly, get a break from memorizing scripts full of technobabble.

And speaking of technobabble. …

The first episodes of both the aforementioned series blame the characters’ predicament on “quantum entanglement.” It reminds me of “Ant-Man and the Wasp.”

In “Stuart Saves the Universe,” it is explained that the damage to Leonard and Sheldon’s gizmo has led to quantum entanglement, transporting them to different universes, and in “Star Trek: Strange New Worlds,” the crew of the Enterprise finds itself thrown back in time – to the age of the dinosaurs. This is explained, again, by quantum entanglement.

Yes, I know quantum entanglement is a real thing, a phenomenon having to do with particles, wormholes, Einstein-Rosen bridges … Something like that. I didn’t major in physics.

My friend and I have begun to blame quantum entanglement for any stroke of bad luck or disaster that befalls us. Your A/C broke while you were on vacation? It must have been quantum entanglement. Your captioning device didn’t work when you went to the movies? Quantum entanglement. If you get a flat tire and a jury duty summons on the same day, you are quantumly fucked, or a victim of quantum fuckery. I think it’s going to catch on. You heard it here first.

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